Walking!

Seriously, my little girl went from taking a few cautious steps to literally RUNNING all over the house in no time flat!!! How did this happen? I've been a big fan of being barefoot most of the time... but now the shoes are on and we are outside playing! Such a big girl!

A long absence... and a growing family

I haven't blogged since March. I still read the blogs I follow regularly and I must admit, I feel somewhat guilty. I relish reading their news and updates, seeing their photos and sharing in those women's lives without giving up any details about my own.

My baby girl, my little miracle, turned ONE a few weeks ago. This has been the most incredible year of our lives. Becoming parents - and even more than that, becoming HER parents - has brought us so much unimaginable joy. We just look at her and our hearts swell. We are so thankful for the way God orchestrated the three of us to be a family.

She is now walking, talking (okay, so it is all babble at this point... we really don't have any consistent use of words yet!) and learning so many things! It really just gets more fun every day seeing the world through her eyes. So much to explore and learn and play! Our days are truly filled with little adventures and I'm having the best time staying home with her.

Along the way, we've also gotten other surprises. March, in fact, not long after I last posted, is when the really big news came. The big surprise. The one that several of the bloggers I read have experienced, but that I never counted on for myself. The one that everybody said "would happen" - and that drove me crazy.

Our adopted miracle was a little more than 5 months old when I found out I was pregnant.

And our world has been in a tailspin ever since!

Well, that's not quite true. The beginning was disbelief, fear, caution... which after a few months led to excitment and thankfulness... and here we are, 30 weeks in, expecting a baby boy in November, a little brother to our princess!

I can say with certainty that my faith has grown by leaps and bounds during my time as a wife. I prayed for a long time for the man I now share my life with, who loves and supports me, makes me laugh, and gives his family his all. I remember us so innocently "deciding" we were ready to start our family after 2 years of marriage, and being so excited for a baby that would certainly soon be on the way. I can look back at the three years we suggered from infertility and miscarriages and pain and remember what God did for us in the dark times. I can rejoice that He was always present, always sovereign, always working out His plan. I can thank Him in the light that we find ourselves in now, holding our daugther in our arms and expecting our son, and know still He is present, He is sovereign and He is working out His plan.

If only we had known all this at the time, it wouldn't have hurt as much. But we wouldn't be as thanful for it now. I am praying always for those who find themselves there too.

Hot Saturday Night

I have to laugh at myself as I remember the Saturday nights of old, the dressing up, going out to a great restaurant, meeting friends for a drink, hearing some live music or going to a show... and then considered my Saturday nights these days.

Case in point: This past Saturday, DH picked up a gourmet Chi.ck.Fi.l.A dinner from the drive through for us, we ate, I gave the baby her bath, put her to bed, mopped the floors and was in bed by 9:45.

How things have changed! But I wouldn't trade it for all the fancy dinners and nights on the town. I love you, Baby Girl!

PS - Good news, though - next Friday is our 5 year anniversay, which means Nonna is babysitting and we have a date! ;-)

A New Waiting Family

I love to check back frequently on the website for our adoption agency. It just gives me such a warm feeling to be "connected" the wonderful people there. I love seeing new families come in and then watching them ultimately be listed as Matched!! I was overjoyed when I checked the site a couple of days ago and saw some friends of ours listed as a Waiting Family! Yay!! We only learned this dear couple had been struggling with several years of infertility after we adopted our sweet baby last fall. They approached us with their story and their interest in adoption, and we shared with them all we had learned through our experience. Although they live in a different state, they chose to go with an agency that is local to us. We had such a positive experience with our agency and I am hoping and praying that they do, as well. I'm such so excited that their adoption journey has begun and I can't wait to meet their precious baby!!

6 Month Stats

We had our 6 month well visit today!!!

Height: 26.25 inches  (67%)
Weight: 15 lbs, 13 oz (45%)
Head Circum: 17 inches (70%)

She is sitting pretty well unassisted, but ends up toppling over at some point, so I don't get too far away!

We are through 3 weeks on cereal and 4 days on peas! She clearly doesn't love the peas, but is battling through them until a yummier vege comes along!

My girl is growing up!!!

A match made in Heaven

I've spent a lot of time on infertility boards and blogs over the last few years. Through them, I've seen sad stories again and again about marriages that have crumbled under the stress of infertility and miscarriage, of losing the innocence that traveling this road steals from you. I can truly see how it happens. It is not for the weak of heart.

I am ever so thankful to be approaching my five-year wedding anniversary with the love of my life, so thankful that we have been able to weather the storm and grow ever stronger in our love. There is, no doubt, pain that lingers still... next to abounding joy. But whatever the future brings, I pray we will continue to dance and find joy in God's blessing of bringing us together.

A Valentines Day Toast for my Hubby

It's difficult to imagine
'Cause I loved you so much from the start.
But every year that passes,
That love grows deeper in my heart.
You are so sweet, so strong, so faithful
You've made all my dreams come true.
And now watching you with our daughter
Makes me again fall in love with you.

Happy Valentines Day!

Finalization

I've been meaning to put down my thoughts on paper about this incredible day before any of the details slip from my mind.

I knew the final adoption hearing was a mere formality. Our sweet girl was already chosen and planned to be our daughter since the beginning of time, and we have been a family since the day we laid eyes on her and held her for the first time. But the special thing about this day was that the rest of the world would now know what we did.

Like all new moms, I questioned myself in those early weeks of her precious life. Was I doing everything right? Was I being the perfect mom? But underlying those common fears were ones that said, if I'm not, will someone change their mind? So when we stood before the judge and he signed the papers, that all melted away. She is ours and no one can ever take her away.

My hubby and I were there for the hearing, of course, but we were also joined by my mom and stepdad, my dad and stepmom, and my stepsister. My dad and stepmom made the trip from halfway across the country. Afterwards, we all went to a nearby restaurant for a little celebration. Although my parents are civil to each other, their interactions in the past 15 years have been slim, and the only occasions where they have been seen in the same room have been my wedding and when my brother came home from Iraq with his Marine squadron. I looked around the table to see them chatting and marveled at how this little girl has not only made complete a gaping hole in our hearts, but she has brought together those I love and made so many people happy.

Especially me. :-)

The Inevitable Cold

Well, it's official. Baby A has a cold.

Of course, I spent an hour and a half going to the pediatrician and $85 for the visit to find out what, let's face it, I already knew.

Runny nose. Coughing. Not eating a lot. Classic symptons.

No fever. No pulling on the ears. Still eating some. Again, classic indications that it probably isn't serious.

We flew to visit my hubby's family up north last week. So there were the airplane germs, the cold weather. Classic causes that lead to a cold. (She did GREAT on the plane, incidentally! Flew like a veteran traveler. If only I could figure out how to pack less!)

But it has been 5 days! And my little love is still waking up coughing and not feeling well! So what is a mommy to do? We went to the pediatrician, of course.

And they told me she had a cold. Well, at least I know that there isn't anything else I should be doing! Back to the saline drops and humidifier! Feel better soon, my love!

Miracle Workers

I had the chance to sit down and write a letter to the head of our adoption agency and tell her what an incredible impact her staff made on us.

There can be no doubt that the day we walked in the door to meet with the director and started down this path changed our lives in the most wonderful of ways, blessing us beyond measure. How many times have I kissed Little A today?!?

But even beyond that, every single person we worked with had such a committment to his or her work, had such a passion for creating families, and made us feel immediately comfortable in a completely unfamiliar realm. Adoption, much like infertility, is all about the unknown, the opening up of your heart and putting your faith into someone else's hands, trusting in them to take you from wanting a baby to having a baby.

I still can't stop thinking about what an amazing job they play. It is not an easy one. Our caseworker is on call 24/7. She walks the balancing act between being the usually absent but much-needed support for the birthparents and the calming encouragement for the adoptive parents. She is the one who gets to give the news that families have been matched, that babies have been born, and afterwards that babies who have been placed are getting the most care and love, but she is also the one who has to tell adoptive parents that the birthparents changed their minds, that the baby is not going home with them as planned. When it is time to go to the hospital, she goes. When there are questions, she answers. When there is no news, she still is there, patiently helping you wait. And at the end of it all, she helped our family come together. I know God was the Orchestrater, but she was an instrument. A big one. And what could give you more satisfaction at the end of the day than a job like that?

She is, they all are, an inspiration. Watching them day by day makes me yearn for a job that could make such an impact, that could change people's lives in such a powerful way. I just need to figure out what.