I felt like I didn't want to go on when we learned about the miscarriage diagnosis, but somehow the days move on and we keep putting one foot in front of another and before we know it, a month has gone by, the shock has passed and we are trying to spend our energy on living in the future - the what to do next decision- instead of dwelling in the past.
I am so challenged by this struggle in just not understanding WHY, but then reminding myself that God does not have to answer to me and that they WHY is known by Him and I have to trust that. I just cry out to Him, please, please let this struggle be used for something good! I know He does not willingly bring affliction upon His children without a purpose to further our faith or His kingdom, but I know it may be years before I see the big picture.
What is the right path? We have consulted with another fertility practice, but I'm so wary of the thought of trying again in a few months without knowing what is going wrong each time. I just can't go through this again. We've also begun exploring adoption, and are working on a home study and an adoption profile, which is pretty strange yet exciting at the same time. We really aren't sure which is the right path, but are hoping that as we look at both, it will reveal itself.